By Bill Sweeney
Galactus, Marvel's ever-hungry devourer of worlds, is a giant cosmic being who basically just floats around space until he gets hungry. Then he sends out his herald, the Silver Surfer, to find delicious, gluten-free planets for him to munch on. I'm sure there's plenty of stuff he talks about that we aren't privy to, so here's 10 things you'll NEVER hear him say... but he probably does.
1. "Dude, don't go in there, I totally blew it up."
2. "Doctor says I'm eating too much of the red planets."
3. "Let's eat somewhere else, I had some Andromeda System yesterday."
4. "NORRIN! If I trip over this board one more time...!"
5. "Truth is, I'm starving all the time... *sniff* ....for attention. I don't even like the taste of planets!"
6. "... I mean, hey, they're cool and all, but "Fantastic"? Seems a little pompous to just label yourself like that."
7. "Surfer! Your new quest is to find me some fine ass bitches, for it is lonely and cold out here, son!"
8. "I think the buffet was a bad idea."
9. "FOOL! Do not speak to me of your infinitesimal woes! Do you have any idea how much I spend on toilet paper!?"
10. "Be honest, does this hat make my head look big?"