Traveler’s Diarrhea - “An all new race for the cure”
Research at The University of Texas continues on their ground breaking study to find a cure for the dreaded disease of Traveler’s Diarrhea. A new vaccine is under development which scientists report test subjects are “significantly less likely to suffer from clinically significant diarrhea than those who received placebo”.
When asked of the
exact nature of the physiological shift the vaccine caused, Dr. I.C.
Spots made the following comment. “The vaccine really targets the brain,
producing a restriction enzyme that lowers the immunourgent desire to
eat ethnic food up to a good 24 hours of when a person plans to get on
an airplane. Right now, we are very early in the game and have seen
positive results only with those subjects who include an occasional Thai
or Indian meal in their diets and book reservations on Priceline.com.”
Dr. Spots also commented Travelocity and Expedia strains are soon to
follow as well as a spray-on pump version targeted at non-native Mexican
“We definitely see the opportunity and enormous challenge
Mexican food represents in our current diets. Taco Bell is just a small part of what we have started to attack. Let’s face it. That’s a lot of
shit to cover.”
When asked to clarify what constitutes "Clinically Significant Diarrhea" Dr. Spots added, “It’s one of those
things. Man, you’ll know it when the time comes.”
So people of the
world, let’s rally behind (ok, maybe not behind) our fellow citizens of
Earth and stamp out this affliction.
No one wants to have a shitty time on their trip.
NSC may, or may not mean: Not So Crazy, Nasty Stomach Cramps, Non-Stop Crapping, No So Creamy, Never Stop Crying and/or Next Stop, Cleaners.